Sorry, too busy being present to be present.

Do you ever get so caught up in the happenings of life that you keep reminding yourself to slow down and be more mindful of being present and then get so caught up in the idea and practicing of being present that you forget to be present? Shew, that was exhausting.

I suppose we will refer to today as cliché Friday but I can’t help myself. Excuse me while I pull up my leggings and put my Starbucks down. Ok, now get real cozy..

Through this whole self discovery thing I have realized many things about myself that I would like to alter, as I’m sure most people do. I was in a restorative yoga class (the purpose of going to this is to restore myself folks, and I still managed to drive myself crazy). I could see my instructor out of the corner of my eye, go over to the dimmer and every 10 minutes or so dim the lights. I learned to anticipate this every time that she started walking over to the wall and kind of psych myself up, “wait for it, wait for it, there it is”! It was like the lights being dimmed was pertinent to my yoga practice in some way. I guess I could chalk this up to A.D.D. or being nosy? Joking aside, I realize what the issue is.

For a little over a year, we have been planning to buy a house. I refused to hang any pictures or decorate or do anything that would make this place feel like home. Why would I want to get too comfortable if we planned on just moving in the future anyway? Now, 2 weeks before moving day, I realize how ridiculous that was. How much joy have I stolen from myself with this way of thinking? Why do we have such trouble living in the now..It’s still okay to have goals and be able to be happy in the meantime. This realization made me feel a lot of guilt -again, stealing from myself! At this point, I was on a mission. I was going to read everything I could and do things differently in order to “fix” myself. I got so caught up in that mission that again, I forgot to enjoy the now.

Be present. Be present. Be present. Take in every moment, soak in every word, feel every embrace, enjoy every laugh. Make people feel that you are present, that you love their company and appreciate that they invest their precious time with you. And for God’s Sake, HANG THE DAMN PICTURES.

 

 

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